So i think i need to find a new bus stop...

Yesterday, while i was waiting at the bus stop to go to work...there was this homeless man sitting on the bench that i wait on. and he talked to me for a few minutes..and we parted ways. no big deal..

Well today, i was sitting on the bench. And the same guy came up to me and asked if it was alright for him to sit down, and i said, "ya of course, no problem." And he took a seat. Well, the man didnt recognize me from the previous day. but i remembered him..and i sat there, waiting, minding my own business. But this guy felt compelled to have a conversation with me. First, he asked me where i'm from...and i said i am Middle Eastern...(which brought about an unpleasant look to his face) He asked me to elaborate...and i really wasnt in the mood to listen to this guy bag on Afghanistan. So i tell him that i'm Persian...Case Closed. No questions asked...lol.

So the guy leaves me alone for a few seconds. But then asks me if i have read the Bible...well, i couldnt lie to the man...so i told him, "You know what sir.. i cant say that i have...only a few bits here and there"

He then informed me that i NEED to read it. Because the end is near. And he knows this because apparently, he is a Prophet. Yes, he informed me that he is a Prophet, like "Jeremiah"

and he muttered under his breathe that he was going to destroy me.. niice

Well at this point, i realized that the man is nuts...so i pull out my cell phone and pretend to text.

Then he open a can of beer, in a brown paper bag (classy) and started rolling what i believe was a ciggarette. He asked me if it was ok for him to smoke next to me...and i didnt want to insult a "prophet" so i said no problem...lol

The guy then took a drag of his "cigarette" and took a good long look at me. And shared with me that he thinks im a Secret Agent. Because, apparently, i was acting like a secret agent. And i told him that i wasnt...and he replies, "Thats what they all say...."

Great...So now this guy thinks im a spy...

And he mutters under his breathe again that he hates Muslims...so i just smile :) lol

So then he asks me if i'm married. And i told him, nooo not yet...and he said that im smart. Told me not to get married. But said im pretty...But then assured me that he doesnt get with white women...b/c thats not how God intended it to be..

Well, we sat there for a few more moments..and i keep checking the time on my phone. B/C my bus was obviously late..and i just wanted to get away from this man. But then i decided that i wanted a picture of this guy...lol...so i pull out my camera, turn off the flash, and pretend to be playing with the buttons while he is looking down, when i'm really taking his picture...He saw my camera (im sitting 1/2 foot away from him) and he asks what im taking a picture of..but i assure him that im just fixing some of the settings...and he generously informs me that if i wanted to take a picture of him, he would only charge me $50. What a great guy....lol

Ok, so now i'm really praying that my bus shows up... so i get up off the bench, to look across the street...and the guy tells me, "You know what?? You are actually VERY pretty. Its your smile...damnnn.." Wonderfullllll... and he continues, "I cant believe that a man hasnt swept u up already..b/c you are a looker. But let me tell u, lady. Do NOT marry a player. No, No, dont get with a player. And if you do marry a player, dont let him take u to the 22nd floor and throw you out the window. And then let him claim its an accident." (WTF???)

And my bus is STILL not there. So the guy turns to me now...looks at me very seriously. And tells me that he knows a few extraterrestrials. And i say, OH really?? And he tells me that they talk to him sometimes..b/c he is a man of God. although they hadnt spoken to him in a while. But he does indeed know some extraterrestrials. And they have space ships. And he told me not to call it a UFO, b/c they hate that. And the space ships come down from heaven.

So i nod...and smile...and pretend that this conversation we are having is totally normal...I get up now, b/c i see the bus from afar..and the guy is checking out my legs (i was wearing a collared black dress). And i say goodbye to him. Jump on my bus. And laugh.

These are the type of people i meet in DC. If you would like to also have an intellectual conversation with this man, he is at the 18th & F Bus Stop after 9:30am.